Updated: Sep 15
We never necessarily 'chose' our style of parenting, however over time when reflecting upon our parenting choices during pregnancy, the birthing experience and postpartum we noticed a theme.
Parenting kindfully was something that came very natural to us - and we're sure it will continue to do so throughout parenthood. Though we come from a generally similar background (parents married for over 30 years, 1 of 3 children, moved schools 7+ times, found teenage hood difficult and so forth) we definitely had many different circumstances that had occurred in our lives as children and as young adults that made us quite unique to one another and we found this middle ground of kindfulness towards ourselves that helped us break through some of the traumas we had experienced and hope to stop our future children from experiencing.
We had multiple conversations of the ideal upbringing we would love to provide for our children one day, however we didn't really know the actions we were going to take towards creating that dream life.
Now, 2 years later we have discovered that kindful parenting has not only allowed a safe, creative and loving environment for our daughter to thrive in - but also a place for us to thrive as parents, a couple and as individuals.
Every aspect of kindful parenting has really allowed us to SLOW down, to go within and listen to what it is we #need instead of #want and take actions fast to make positive outcomes. We believe it has been the main reason why our daughter is so strong in knowing what she wants and therefor communicates effectively with adults and children around her, diminishing a lot of 'problem' based behaviours. It has also allowed us to have a more calming and happy environment at home and outside of our home, with us almost never having to deal with tantrums.
Sure - there have been multiple times where we have questioned ourselves... such as whether we should have just got a sleep trainer from day one and worked against all our instincts to a point where she was no longer waking in the night. However we know that the benefits have always and will always outweigh the negatives.
Something I think most people forget when it comes to parenting their children
Is that a child is a human being, no matter how small. Every emotion is felt to the fullest, just as an adult. Though we may not always remember each and every moment in our lives, we remember each feeling and usually go on to try to avoid those negative feelings in the future. Just as an adult produces cortisol when stressed or anxious, as does a newborn.
There is always a kindful way to go about things in life. Sometimes it may not seem like the easiest option, however it is the kindest option and will be one that continuelly pays off.